061911 Megan’s Testimony

I have always been stubborn and a bit feisty – as the tradition goes with red heads having a little extra “fire” – it is definitely true with me. I am often reminded of that when I do or say things that are unnecessary or a little too harsh or when I avoid something and then finally soften up to the idea of whatever I was avoiding.

I actually used to think that I didn’t really have a testimony – nothing really significant happened in my life that I needed to turn from or that was detrimental to my life, except that as a human I make mistakes, bad choices, and don’t do everything right, so therefore I still need to be forgiven. Through others, God has shown me that everyone has a testimony – a story to tell of how Jesus Christ has changed their lives to make them the people He wants them to be.

As a baby, I was baptized and grew up in the church and remember asking to receive Christ when I was 10. I was always a pretty good kid, even with the stubborn, feisty side coming up from time to time and I don’t remember any significant change once I prayed to receive Christ, but that’s of course where God is working even when I don’t know it.

Throughout elementary, middle, and high school – I tried to be good, mostly obeyed my parents, went to church, prayed, worked hard, and did pretty well.

But it was not until college that I really started to understand what it meant to trust Christ – that it was not just a title or a label to be a Christian – but that it was actually living out my faith. This meant, actually seeking Christ by praying and reading my Bible so I could know more of who He is and grow deeper in my faith as well as living in such a way that Christ’s light could shine through me. God put some influential people in my life (and continues to do so) who have helped me to understand the Bible more and what it means to trust God. From that time on, my faith stopped being about what I was taught or just going to church or “being good” but living to be more like Christ.

Now of course I still messed up and even went through times where I questioned if my faith was real, because if that were true, why would I still continue to be selfish or prideful, mean or inconsiderate, bossy or self-centered. Thankfully, we have an awesome and loving Father, Creator of all things whose grace is sufficient – His grace covers over my screw-ups however big or small.

Ephesians 2:8-10 says “For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast. And it continues to say, “We are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

So that means that even in my lowest moments, or when I feel like I’m not good at all and not worth anything, He still has a plan and purpose for me. Recently (well the past few years), God has allowed me to experience a lot of different challenges that have pushed me to trust Him and to know what that means – trusting Him even when it’s hard and I don’t know what’s going on.

For the past four years, He has allowed me to work at a really tough job that has often made me feel like a failure. He has allowed for my car to be stolen twice, returned twice, and then ending with me getting into a fender bender (that was my fault) and totaling my car, which has caused me to be without a car even up to today for the last 7 ½ months (which has also given me the opportunity to use others’ generosity in allowing me to borrow cars). He has allowed me to have various money challenges that make me have to really think and pray through on what I’m spending and what I should be spending. But through those things, He has shown me that He is faithful, that He is always there, and He is continually teaching me how to trust Him and how to be content in all circumstances including leaving my current job (the one that has been really hard) without having another job lined up – yet another way God is having me trust Him that He will continue to be there and will provide.

This leads to me getting baptized today, which let me tell you, I have gone back and forth on this decision for probably about 6 or 7 years, majority of the time avoiding the topic and pretending it’s not there. In this past year as I have prepared to get married, and in talking with Aaron, and reading and rereading Scripture and praying, God has put it on my heart to be baptized of my own decision after I have prayed to receive Christ (although not immediately as commanded many times in the Bible, but 18 years later). This is where that stubborn thing comes in too – I struggled with needing to be baptized again when I was baptized as a baby, but have come to the conclusion and understanding that baptism, especially by full immersion is a symbolic event to represent my union with Christ and I have not done that. I know that Christ still loves me and that if I were not getting baptized He still would, but I want to be obedient to what the Bible says in getting baptized and I want to make this public declaration that I am a Christian, not by name, but by Christ’s death and resurrection and forgiveness for me that cannot be taken away.

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